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Structural Elements

Objective 3

The student will effectively use structural elements to set up progressive arguments: stylistically strong incorporation of direct support with pertinent context, powerful, controlling thesis and topic sentences, and insightful development of an argument.

Haroun Theme Essay (Revised): an essay trying to prove that the complete freedom of speech is necessary to build a better society by using Haroun and the Sea of Stories and a Simpson’s episode called “Itchy, Scratchy, and Marge” as evidence


“How can I revise my essay?” If you could tap into my mind anytime during the three weeks after I recieved my essay on the book Haroun and the Sea of Stories back, that would be what you heard. Every day, for three weeks, I was thinking about how I could revise my essay. I realized later that I was battling the simple, yet unwieldy structural elements that seemed to slip through my fingers like a raw egg.

I wrote the first draft of the essay in class. Going fast, I forgot several necessary components of the essay. However, my class received an extension to  revise anything we thought we could.I worked mostly on the body paragraphs and then turned that in.

I got it back with an average grade, but I still wanted to know how I could improve it. I found that I hadn’t given enough attention to my introduction and analysis. I changed the hook in the introduction slightly and tried to make my analysis more persuasive.

After this first revision, I still didn’t know the elements I need well enough to be happy. I tried to make the conclusion less repetitive and learned a special trick of asking why for every point you are trying to prove.

After all those weeks, which now seem like a single night, I finally was happy with what I understood about writing essays. I would find later in The Golden Compass Essay that I still have plenty to learn.

The Last Line

The hardest part for my algorithm loving mind was to try and figure out a pattern to the thought process behind analysis and the interwoven links of introductions. I feel like I now feel of those processes and they can be mutated and manipulated to fit different types of information.

I wouldn’t say I had a particularly easy time doing any of the components of the essay, but I think it seems obvious that putting together the examples from the sources I was allowed was the easiest because it requires  a very simple process that my mind can handle.

For my imminent Mid-Term English Essay, I plan on synthesizing the processed my mind can handle, and the ones that it has trouble with in order to make something simple and manageable. In the future I will be able to look back and say that this objective helped me accomplish others, but I will never be able to say that I conquered this objective to make the future ones easy.

Image Credit: http://www.midwestwesternregioncsi.org/dallas/writing_essay.jpg



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